Glossary of Terms

Kink & Play Types

BDSM

Short for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. A wide umbrella for consensual power exchange, sensation play, and ritual.
See also: Kink, Scene.

Impact Play

Striking the body using hands, paddles, floggers, crops. Can be playful, punishing, or meditative depending on intent.
See also: Spanking Therapy, Catharsis.

Rope Bondage / Shibari

Tying the body with rope for restraint, sensation, or beauty. Shibari refers to Japanese-inspired rope work emphasizing form, flow, and emotional connection.
See also: Ritual, Subspace.

Kink

Catch-all for anything outside mainstream sex scripts. What counts as kinky shifts across culture and time. What’s taboo today may be vanilla tomorrow.
See also: BDSM.

Spanking Therapy

Using spanking deliberately as release, stress relief, or catharsis. Viewed by some as closer to massage or ritual than sex.
See also: Impact Play, Catharsis, Aftercare.

Roles & Dynamics

Bottom

The person receiving the action. A Bottom isn't always a Sub; they may be sensation-seekers, brats, or rope models without any power exchange.
See also: Top, Submissive.

Dominant (Dom / Domme)

The partner who takes authority or control in a dynamic. They may direct, guide, or structure. Control doesn't always mean action.
See also: Submissive, Top.

Submissive (Sub)

The partner who chooses to yield authority. Submission is about relationship to power, not necessarily receiving sensation.
See also: Dominant, Bottom, Subspace.

Top

The person performing the action: spanking, tying, flogging. A Top isn't always a Dom; they may simply enjoy delivering sensation.
See also: Bottom, Dominant.

Switch

Someone who enjoys more than one role, shifting between sides depending on mood, partner, or scene.
See also: Top, Bottom, Dom, Sub.

Topping from the Bottom

When a Submissive directs or steers the action while nominally yielding. Can be bratty fun if negotiated, frustrating if not. Controversial in some spaces.
See also: Submissive, Negotiation.

Frequently Heard Phrases

Aftercare

The landing after intensity: blankets, water, reassurance, or simply quiet presence. Not optional; an essential phase of play.
See also: Scene, Drop, Self-Care.

Catharsis

The emotional release (crying, laughing, shaking) that can surface during or after play. A way of processing and letting go.
See also: Impact Play, Spanking Therapy.

Consent

The backbone of kink. Must be informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Can be withdrawn at any time. No consent, no play.
See also: Negotiation, Safeword.

Negotiation

The pre-scene discussion where partners set limits, desires, and safewords. The contract before the play.
See also: Consent, Safeword, Scene.

Ritual

The repeated gestures that frame a dynamic: kneeling, phrases, or routines. Creates predictability and grounding.
See also: Dominant, Submissive, Rope Bondage.

Safeword

The agreed stop-signal. Commonly traffic-light based (green, yellow, red). Gives players confidence to push limits safely.
See also: Negotiation, Consent.

Scene

A contained BDSM encounter, bounded by negotiation at the start and aftercare at the end. A ritualised "play space" distinct from everyday life.
See also: Aftercare, Drop, Subspace.

Subspace

A trance-like state a Submissive may enter mid-scene. Floaty, timeless, dreamlike. Neurologically linked to endorphins; experientially, like meditation wrapped in rope burns.
See also: Submissive, Scene, Sub Drop.

Sub Drop

A post-scene low some submissives feel hours to days after play – mood dip, tears or irritability, fog, aches/chills – often from an endorphin/adrenaline comedown plus fatigue. Plan for it: solid aftercare (warmth, hydration, carbs + protein), gentle movement, sleep, and a check-in 24–72 hours later.
See also: Aftercare, Subspace, Top Drop, Scene.

Self-Care (in BDSM)

The before-and-after practices that keep players balanced: hydration, journaling, food, alone time. Rest is part of the scene, not an afterthought.
See also: Aftercare.

Topspace (Domspace)

A focused, altered state some Tops/Dominants enter during a scene – calm tunnel-vision, heightened attunement, time blur. Helpful for precision but can mask fatigue; stick to negotiated limits, script check-ins, and plan Top aftercare.
See also: Subspace, Top Drop, Aftercare, Scene.

Top Drop (Dom Drop)

A post-scene low some Tops/Dominanrs feel hours to days later – flat mood, irritability, headache/aches, brain fog – often from an adrenaline/endorphin crash plus dehydration and the "responsibility hangover." Plan for it: warmth, hydration, carbs + protein, light movement, sunlight, low-stakes joy, and a 24–72-hour check-in.
See also: Aftercare, Topspace, Sub Drop, Scene.